Separating from a partner is never easy, especially when children are involved. One of the most common concerns I hear from Ottawa parents is, “Who gets to decide what happens with my child?” Many parents think that if the child primarily lives with one parent, that parent makes all the decisions. In Ontario, that is not usually true.
Shared decision-making is a key part of family law here. It refers to how parents make important choices about their child’s life after a separation or divorce. These decisions usually fall into three major categories: education, health, and religion. For example, deciding which school your child attends, whether they receive certain medical treatments, or how they are raised in a particular faith are considered major decisions.
Common Misunderstandings
A big misconception I see is the idea that custody equals control. The term “custody” has been replaced in Ontario with “decision-making responsibility.” This means that even if a child primarily lives with one parent, both parents often still share the right to be involved in decisions that affect the child’s well-being. Another common misunderstanding is thinking that decision-making must always be a 50/50 split. In reality, agreements can be tailored to each family. For instance, one parent might handle medical decisions while both share responsibility for education.
Tips for Successful Shared Decision-Making
- Put Everything in Writing
I always encourage parents to have a clear parenting plan or separation agreement that spells out how decisions will be made. This prevents confusion later and provides a roadmap for handling disagreements. - Keep Communication Open
Use email, text, or co-parenting apps to stay in touch about school updates, doctor’s appointments, and other major decisions. Documenting communication can also be helpful if issues arise in the future. - Focus on the Child, Not the Conflict
When you and your co-parent have different opinions, bring the focus back to what is best for your child. Compromise is easier when both sides feel heard. - Seek Mediation When Needed
If discussions break down, mediation can help parents reach an agreement without going to court. This is often faster, less stressful, and less expensive.
Final Thoughts
Shared decision-making is about balancing the rights and responsibilities of both parents. With clear agreements, good communication, and a focus on your child’s needs, it is possible to create a parenting plan that works for everyone involved.
If you are unsure about your rights or need help drafting a separation agreement, I am here to guide you through the process.
Learn more by visiting my website: https://stowwilsonlaw.ca/
